What is Emotional Openness? (Why You Want it in a Partner)
Have you ever gotten really excited about someone, gone on multiple dates with them, only to find out they have zero desire for a genuine partnership? Have you ever invested your emotions in someone more committed to their gym routine than the idea of a monogamous relationship?
If so, you may have missed the signs that this individual is not emotionally open or available. As a result of missing this, you probably experienced feelings of hurt, disappointment, and maybe even shame that you didn’t see it coming.
What exactly is emotional openness? I’ll explain in one moment. I’ll also tell you why I am willing to go out on a limb to say emotional openness is one of the sexiest traits a romantic partner can possess.
What is emotional openness?
An emotionally open person has an open and curious stance towards you. Emotionally, they’ve stretched their arms out, looking forward to hugging you. Or, picture this person as an adorable dog and you as the owner. This dog jumps up excitedly and greets you affectionately as you walk through the door.
An emotionally open person wants to establish a bond with you and is willing to consider how you might fit into their life. They are open to your influence. They are optimistic that their life may be improved with you in it.
You do not need to have spent a lot of time with someone to identify whether they’re emotionally open and available. If you can spot the signs, you can figure out what type of person someone is pretty fast.
Spotting the Emotionally Unavailable: A Field Guide
So, how do you tell if someone is emotionally closed off and not likely to give you the emotional support you’re craving? Here are tell-tale signs to look for:
The Question Dodger: They can talk about all subjects but do not ask questions about you.
Severe Topic Allergy: Even after you’ve had multiple conversations with them, they still avoid discussing serious topics such as life goals, values and belief systems, family, and money. When you try to ask a question about any of these topics, they are dodgier than a politician in front of a group of journalists.
The Distracted Dater: They’re often quite distracted when you are spending time together.
The Flaker: They are not courteous about communicating changes in plans. They repeatedly cancel your plans at the last minute.
The Late Night Texter: They only text you, asking, “You free?” after 11 pm
Additionally, someone going through a stressful life change / facing an uncertain future may not be ready for a commitment.
Why is emotional openness a super sexy trait in a potential romantic partner?
The reason is simple: If you’re looking for a serious relationship, you can spare yourself a lot of pain by avoiding people who are not emotionally available. When you meet someone who seems great in so many other ways but lacks this one crucial quality, you can more easily tell yourself to move on and free yourself up for meeting a badass man or lady who has way more to offer, such as an abundance of understanding, affection, and love.